Commodity Trade Questions Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Commodity Trade Questions - Essay Example The regulations were set at 40%. GAFTA is the only agreement that comprises of all the Arab states coming together to agree on trade relations. It was also guided by politic institutions which include the Gulf Cooperative Council and Arab League. It removes several walls that would have prevented an easy flow of trade which include the tariffs, monetary, administrative and NTBS. It has well defined rules from the routes of these communities. Benefits With this agreement, All the member states are expected to expand their intra-regional trade. Production is bound to increase since his agreement will encourage exploitation of comparative advantage and scale economies. With an increase in competition in the market, there will be a choice for consumers as companies are going to struggle and venture in other form of producing different products. Rules and regulations of trade will improve as import prices are going to go down. With GAFTA in effect, regional development is going to be noti ced drastically. Question 2 How to reduce the risk for global commodity trader Since there is high profit expected in any global commodity trade, the risks are also high. According to (Williams, 1999), when one is involved in commodity trading, he is bound to lose more cash than what he takes to the bank. Always have a strategy to control some risks. If you have a valid risk plan, it will warn you when to indulge in the risk or run away. A global commodity trader should interpret all the risks involved in a business deal so that he does not get confused in the time of when to stay put or to run. Every commodity global trader should have established a specific price so as to prevent losses unlike when he does not have a stop price. If this trader has a stop price he is more likely to manage his losses and vice Versa. Risks due to language barriers can be solved with the presence of an interpreter or trading in the market where there is a language spoken in common. The trader should a lways make sure that he is trading with registered and incensed traders. He should upgrade his license every time it is required of him to avoid problems that may arise from it. It is up to the seller to determine where to deliver his goods. The place of trade should be a peaceful place free from war. He should be positively confident that the country he is trading in has a foreign currency. It is up to the seller to have the right quality and quantity of goods needed in the market foe efficiency. He should also learn about the markets he is involved in and try to understand them fully. This includes their terms and conditions. He should understand the culture of the particular people he is trading with and should avoid all corrupt deals as they are likely to backfire. Learn about all the governments you are involved in during trade and know their capabilities of them paying their debts. There are other markets that a global commodity trader can consider. According to (Cark, Lesourd , & Thieblemont, 2001) trading of commodities, markets may be physical or derivative. Question 3 What do the following ICC Inco terms stand for? According to (Moens & Gillis, 1998) EXW: this Inco term stands for EX Works/Ex factory. When doing business under the influence of this policy, the seller is supposed to make the products available to the buyer at the sellers’ business premise. It is up to the buyer to collect it. WWD: Weather Working Days. This means

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​William Faulkner began what would be an extensive exploration of his southern world of what he named Yoknapatawpha County (really the area of New Albany, Mississippi) with the short story â€Å"A Rose for Emily† in 1930.   At this point, Faulkner was 33 years old, having grown up in the smothering and genteel small town atmosphere he uses as the setting for this work.    On one level, this is the tragedy of one person who was stifled and pushed to a monstrous crime, while on a larger scale, the story is a metaphor for the way in which the Old South refused to come to terms with the 20th century and the new demands of American society.    ​The Civil War looms large over Jefferson, from the pride that the community takes in the battle that raged nearby to the graveyard full of honored dead and the very elderly men who still wear Confederate uniforms to funerals.   The town’s mayor uses the title â€Å"Colonel† Sartoris all his life, and it seems as if the war was a breaking point past which families like those of the Griersons just couldn’t get past, as if they were frozen in time.   The experience ...

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun Chapter 15

As I swiftly proceed through the forest I noticed that the sky was still cloudy enough that I wouldn't catch the attention of any unsuspecting humans until mid-afternoon. I was slightly apprehensive about today's events. My family had become more encouraging of my decisions surrounding Bella, but the outcome of her fate was still questionable. Alice had assured me one more time before I left home that Bella would be fine, and that she would still be close, â€Å"just in case.† I knew what I willed her fate to be, but the many outcomes all appeared to be impractical to me. Take her life? Not hardly! Turn her into a vampire so I could keep her? Take her soul? So selfish – or I could leave her human and watch as she out grows me – I sighed. The trees around me were becoming less dense and I was suddenly outside Bella's house. I advanced to her door, something I had never done before. I had constantly been scaling the walls and climbing in and out through the window when entering this house. It was relatively quiet. It was divulged of any thoughts. I heard buoyant footsteps coming down the stairs. I nimbly knocked on her front door, immediately tense. I listened to her fumble around with the dead bolt, but a second later she flung the door wide open, sending a wave of her heady scent towards me. I wasn't expecting it so suddenly. I had to move the dry ache of my thirst to the back of my mind, today is about Bella, I reminded myself. I finally gazed at her and noticed that she was wearing a white shirt with a tan sweater and blue jeans. I started laughing because I was wearing something similar. â€Å"Good morning,† I chuckled. â€Å"What's wrong?† she glanced down at her clothes with panic in her voice. â€Å"We match.† I laughed again. I saw her eyes travel from my collar down to my jeans and she joined in with my laughter. She marched out of the house then, and shut the door behind her, locking it. I turned to walk to her truck, remembering I conceded in our dispute of who would drive today. A cool breeze blew her aroma in my direction and I was instantly grateful that the majority of the day would be spent in the great outdoors, where her scent was not nearly as potent. I turned and looked at her as she walked towards the truck. She had a smug look on her face. â€Å"We made a deal,† she reminded me haughtily as she wrenched herself up into the driver's side seat. I grimaced. â€Å"Where to?† she asked. â€Å"Put your seat belt on ?C I'm nervous already.† I commanded, even though I was mostly teasing. There is no accident I couldn't protect her from. She gave me a menacing look and reached over her shoulder and pulled the seat belt across her lap and buckled herself in. She sighed, â€Å"Where to?† she repeated. â€Å"Take the one-oh-one north.† I instructed. The heat coming from the vents in the truck sent her rich scent flooding into my lungs. The constant dull pain that her scent caused me was suddenly fierce. I stared at her face while she drove, a reminder that the most exquisite soul was next to me and that I needed to immediately cage the monster. I began planning the day in my head. If I knew what was to be expected, I would be less likely to make a mistake. That's right, no mistakes today! The problem with my planning was that I wasn't sure if we were going to make it to the meadow before the day ended because of how slow her truck was. â€Å"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before night fall?† I teased, hoping it would encourage a faster pace. â€Å"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather ?C have some respect.† She retorted. I continued to look fixedly at her. The anticipation of being all alone with Bella in the most peaceful meadow was causing a different type of monster to rear its head up now; infatuation maybe? It was electricity that was flowing through me now, preparing to be freed at a moment's touch. We were about to approach our next turn, â€Å"Turn right on the one-ten,† I instructed. She complied silently. â€Å"Now we drive until the pavement ends.† I smiled, thinking about how close we were to being by ourselves. Some would consider our time now to mean ‘alone', but my mind was abundantly full of the never ending humming and buzzing of thoughts. The meadow, my little slice of heaven, was one of the few places where I was able to give my mind some peace. Bella's face turned curious, â€Å"and what's there, at the pavements end?† she asked. â€Å"A trail.† â€Å"We're hiking?† she asked with panic in her tone. â€Å"Is that a problem?† â€Å"No,† she lied. â€Å"Don't worry, it is only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry.† Hoping my words would calm her. I could understand her panic though; she couldn't walk across a room without tripping, falling, or running into something. The woods must seem like a mine field to her. She had nothing to worry about though, if she were to trip, I would gladly save her from hitting the ground. It would be so easy to place my hand lightly, gently, under her elbow as I helped her through the slippery forest floor. My new desire was pulsing through my skin, sending more electricity through my finger tips. This new – desire – was now adding to the constant pressure in my chest. I fixed my eyes on her face, trying to comprehend the apparent terror in her eyes. Her expression altered numerous times, and instead of internally imploring my mind to finally perceive her thoughts, I decided I would simply make a request. â€Å"What are you thinking?† I beseeched. â€Å"Just wondering where we're going.† She replied smoothly; she was hiding her fright. I wanted to ease her mind a bit, so I provided a hint, â€Å"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice.† I glanced out the window and she followed my gaze. The sky was still cloudy enough that my skin wasn't emitting rainbows. â€Å"Charlie said it would be warm today,† she mused. Ah, Charlie. I remembered that she refused to tell him about our outing. Had she changed her mind about that? â€Å"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?† I asked. â€Å"Nope,† she said complacently. Of course not. But, she did tell Jessica about us, and the trip ?C hadn't she? â€Å"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?† I asked. If she told Jessica, then I would have to bring her back, for her family and mine. â€Å"No, I told her you canceled on me ?C which is true,† she reminded me. I was suddenly angry. Didn't she want me to bring her back? She would be willing to follow a killer into the woods, alone, and not tell a single soul. I growled internally. Who would know it was me who didn't bring her back home? I didn't want to bring her back and she was eager to tempt me to do just that. The monster began clawing at my chest bones again and I was dangerously irate that she put me in this situation. Hadn't I suffered enough? I pulled myself together, for the most part, before I responded. â€Å"No one knows you're with me?† I growled. She looked smug, â€Å"That depends†¦ I assume you told Alice?† she pondered. She thought that Alice knowing would make me want to bring her back? â€Å"That's very helpful, Bella,† I snapped, but at the sound of her name exiting my lips the electricity flared up and that new creature sent a lump to my throat. This†¦ desire; a longing; ripped through my body. I glared at her then and she was looking out the windshield like the conversation never took place, so nonchalant. Anger suddenly flared again. â€Å"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?† I hissed. â€Å"You said it might cause trouble for you†¦ us being together publicly,† she reminded me. Unbelievable! She was worried about my safety, â€Å"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me ?C if you don't come home?† my voice rose on the last word. She never looked away from the road, but nodded her head. She didn't look at all troubled about this! Unbelievable, I muttered so low she couldn't understand me. What could she possibly be thinking? Maybe she was sent here from my own personal hell to destroy me! Great – first her scent, then her ever growing presence in my life, and her unspoken thoughts; now she was essentially handing herself over to me on a silver platter. If I hadn't been continuously worried about my family she would have been dead when I first inhaled her heady scent. Now it was this precious soul in the car that I didn't want to destroy, and she was making it inconceivably hard not to. She was driving me to her demise. Insane. It was the only word to describe her actions. Maybe masochistic? Bella never took her eyes off the road. She must know that I was infuriated. The road did, though, inevitably end. There was a trail marked by a wooden sign; we would be going the opposite direction. She pulled the truck over, put it in park, and hoped out without one glance in my direction. I was immediately anxious that she didn't want to spend the rest of the day with me. Did I hurt her feelings? If she left me now ?C would I let her? Would she forgive me? I pulled my sweater off and placed it in the truck. It was unnecessary for me to wear something that was supposed to bring warmth when I was a cold creature. I was secretly hoping that the sun would warm my skin when it eventually appears through the clouds. I shut the door harder then I intended. I turned towards the forest and quietly reminded myself, no mistakes. â€Å"This way,† I called to her. I glanced over my shoulder to see her confused expression, â€Å"The trail?† she asked, terror in her voice. She had removed her sweater too, and it was tied securely around her waist. â€Å"I won't let you get lost,† I said with a mocking tone. She continued to stare at me without moving. Was she frightened now? I couldn't tell for sure ?C was she about to run away? Run Bella, run, I thought, then added, stay Bella, stay. She still didn't move, and I was again asking myself the ever prominent question, what is she thinking? I remembered that the best way to break her from her dejection was to guess what she was thinking. She would correct me if I were wrong, so I asked, â€Å"Do you want to go home?† Pain broke through my voice without my permission. â€Å"No,† she answered while walking towards me until she was close enough that I could feel the warmth of her body wash over me like a tidal wave. Her delectable scent made the monster inside me initiate it's slow clawing up my throat. I looked in her eyes, and there was still something distressing her. Fear maybe? â€Å"What's wrong?† I asked, apprehensive. â€Å"I'm not a good hiker,† she looked glum; â€Å"You'll have to be very patient.† This wasn't a challenge. â€Å"I can be patient ?C if I make a great effort.† I stared into her eyes and smiled, hoping she would realize that I wasn't lying. She didn't look convinced. Maybe she was finally coming to her senses. Was she afraid? Was it really fear I was sensing? Fear, I scoffed internally. â€Å"I'll take you home,† I assured her. Abruptly she responded, â€Å"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way,† she hissed. So it wasn't fear that I saw, it was anger? Of course, I thought. I stood there frozen for a moment and frowned. I concealed a sigh and started towards the forest. I knew the forest well, and I chose a path that would be easiest for Bella. There were a few places where I had to move branches and hold down ferns to help her pass. When boulders and downed trees were in our path I hesitated only briefly. I didn't want to offer my hand, still worried that my ice cold skin would repulse her. I concentrated a great deal when I finally reached out to steady her by lifting her by her elbow. I knew if I were to hold any part of her body besides there, my desires would take over and I would bring my cold lips to her soft, warm ones. Each time I helped her, her heart would skip a beat, stutter, falter, and then rapidly pick up in double time. A few times I was worried that her heart had completely stopped. At one moment, I was helping her over a tree when the thought of kissing her sent a rush of desire through my body and I almost dropped her. She didn't notice. She was concentrating intently on not falling or tripping. After walking in silence for some distance, I decided to distract myself by asking her some more questions. She told me about some of her birthdays with her mother and stories about her grade school teachers. Each time she looked at me her breath sent a rush of longing and electricity through me. I thought of a few more questions, but the funniest answer I heard all day was when I asked her about family pets. â€Å"I have to admit, after killing three fish in a row, I'd given up on the whole institution,† she told me. I laughed so loudly that it echoed through the forest. I didn't mind being patient with Bella. Every moment spent with her was a blessing. The hours passed and I was holding back the monster inside me and my new found creature, desire. It was easier than I anticipated. How long I could keep them both caged was still a mystery. The sun was beginning to protrude through the tops of the trees. I was feeling a little uneasy about her seeing me in the sunlight. Would that be the moment she decides to leave my world? â€Å"Are we there yet?† Bella asked in mock-rage after several hours of hiking. â€Å"Nearly† I reassured her with a smile, â€Å"Do you see the brightness ahead?† I looked through the dense forest at the bright sunlight beaming through to the opening of a beautiful meadow. I watched her squint her eyes and look impatient. â€Å"Um, should I?† she asked incredulous. I smirked, â€Å"Maybe it's a bit soon for your eyes.† She looked at me then, â€Å"Time to visit the optometrist,† she grumbled. Like seeing the optometrist would improve her vision. My grin grew wider across my face. I noticed when she saw the light from the meadow. The sun was lighting the grassy floor and beautiful colors were reflecting from the different vegetation. I let her lead the way then, following behind her. I wanted her to enter the meadow first. Abruptly, a lump entered my throat at the thought of letting her see my crystal like skin reflecting in the sunlight. We reached the meadow then. I stopped in the shadows as I watched Bella walk easily into the sunlight. She gazed around with a look of wonder in her eyes. I could see her taking it all in, the flowers, the green grass, and the musical water in the background. She turned then, wondering where I had gone. I stood, once again, at the edge of the sunlight, like I had that time in Port Angeles. Then, I was fenced in by the dark shadows†¦ so limited, but this time I just needed to make that one simple step. Bella stepped towards me then, curiosity flaring in her eyes. I was reluctant to pass this invisible line. I belonged in the shadows, she belonged in the light. She smiled at me then and moved a step closer. She raised her hand in welcome. I wasn't ready, I put my hand up to stop her before she got to close, and she stopped hesitantly. It was too late, her warmth hit me suddenly and I took in a deep breath. Unthinking, I stepped closer to her, breaking the invisible fence between light and dark. Author's note: Thank you for the support on this story so far. I feel like with each chapter I become a better writer and if it wasn't for those of you who have been reading it and reviewing I probably would have never gotten this far! As I stepped into the sunlight my skin instantly absorbed the rays and emitted them back out in a band of colors. I could see my reflection in her deep chocolate eyes and in that moment I became a statue of uneasiness. What would this revelation do to her resolve? Her mouth slightly parted and I could smell her sweet breath on the light breeze. She only hesitated for a second, and then, with deliberate slowness, stepped closer to me, and I could instantly tell it wasn't because she had an aversion to me, but because she was anxious of what my reaction would be. I moved in that moment, a smile slowly spread across my face. She returned my smile immediately. Neither of us spoke for an immeasurable moment. I couldn't read her thoughts, but I could clearly read her eyes and her facial expressions. She was dazzled, and so was I. She slid down to the forest floor then, and sat with her arms around her knees. I mirrored her actions and lowered myself to the ground next to her. There were no foreign thoughts in my head at this moment and it was amazingly pleasant. I lay on the ground with my eyes closed. I felt the warm sun on my ice cold skin and hoped that it would warm up my skin so it wouldn't be abhorrent to the touch. As I laid there in silence, I was breathing in her fragrance. Mixed with the outside air and breeze, her scent was more appealing than it should be. As the silence around us grew, I began composing in my head and singing so quietly that I wasn't sure if Bella would be able to hear. She couldn't hear, because she asked after a minute what I was doing. As I lay there, enjoying the quietness of my mind and the divine essence of Bella, I felt something very lightly caress my hand. She was warm and I felt so many emotions at once, desire ?C fear ?C anxiety. My desire won my attention though, but the other emotions were still there in the back of my mind. I opened my eyes then, and my eyes met her face. She was the most exquisite creature I had ever seen. Her brown hair had glittering red tints in it when the sunlight hit it just right and her wide eyes were sparkling. She was staring fixedly at my hand, but moved her gaze to meet mine. She looked hesitant, like she was preparing for a scolding. I smiled then. â€Å"I don't scare you?† I tried to sound playful, though I was curious. â€Å"No more than usual,† she replied playfully. My smile grew, and I was nearly grinning from ear to ear. She returned my smile and then moved her stroking fingers up my forearm. I could see her hand quiver slightly as she moved her hand back and forth. I closed my eyes then. I didn't want to look away from her, but my thirst for her touch was growing. Desire was pulsing through my veins. In that moment I pictured grabbing her and holding her to my chest, caressing her back with my hands and pulling her ever closer. I imagined pulling her face into my hands and stroking her cheeks and hair. Desire pulsed through me in waves and I knew she could feel the electricity too. She was still tentative. â€Å"Do you mind?† she inquired. Didn't she know that she was sending large electric shocks of pleasure through my body? â€Å"No,† I replied, still keeping my eyes shut, afraid that if I were to look upon her, I would make my fantasies a reality, and I couldn't let that happen. â€Å"You can't imagine how that feels.† I sighed. She continued to trail her warm fingers across my arm, expanding her search up my arm. I felt the new creature, desire, break through my carefully cultivated fa?ade and divulged into more fantasies. I pictured bringing my lips to her neck, not to take her life, but to kiss lightly. I imagined moving my lips from her neck to her ear where I would whisper how much I loved her. She grabbed my hand lightly with her free hand and was trying to turn it over. My own nature took over and I flipped my hand, palm up, so fast that her fingers froze on my arm and I realized that I made a mistake. No mistakes, I reminded myself. â€Å"Sorry,† I whispered. I briefly caught a glimpse of her face, making sure I was forgiven. I saw that I was, and closed my eyes again then added, â€Å"It's too easy to be myself with you.† She carefully moved my hand back and forth in hers. She was incredibly warm and electricity was throbbing through me. I imagined bringing my lips down her jaw line and then to her unbelievably warm and delicious lips. I sighed internally at the new creature who had broken through all the barriers I had placed to protect this amazing soul next to me. Was she feeling the same desires? I opened my eyes to try and read her expression. Reflections of rainbows were scattered across her face. She looked peaceful. Not being able to hear her thoughts was still taxing. Instantly, I had to know†¦ â€Å"Tell me what you're thinking,† I pleaded. Her eyes swiftly met mine. â€Å"It's still so strange for me, not knowing,† I explained. â€Å"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time,† she said, her voice acerbic. â€Å"It's a hard life,† I acknowledged. I willed my mind to hear her thoughts in that moment†¦ even a single sound would quench my ever dying thirst for her knowing mind. I realized then that she hadn't told me what was on her mind, â€Å"But you didn't tell me.† She paused for a moment, biting her delicate bottom lip, â€Å"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking†¦Ã¢â‚¬  her voice faltered. I tried to encourage her to continue, â€Å"And?† Her voice accelerated then, â€Å"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid.† I was grief-stricken instantaneously. â€Å"I don't want you to be afraid,† I spoke the words that were undeniable. I kept my voice soft, pleading. She should be afraid though, she should fear this menacing creature in front of her. She spoke then, bringing me out of my dejection, â€Å"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though that is certainly something to think about.† Without thinking, I propped myself up on my right arm, in a momentum that would have been unsettling to a human, but my Bella didn't move a centimeter. During my movement, my left hand stayed securely in hers. My action had only placed me but a few inches from her glorious face. Electricity exploded in me and it took every fiber of my being not to move those few extra inches and place my lips to her delicate ones. I stared fixedly at her and she was dazzled. â€Å"What are you afraid of, then?† I wondered. She took a deep breath, and then leaned in, inhaling my scent. I took in the sweet air between us into my lungs, too. I was instantly eager. Ecstasy quickly washed over me and I began to lean closer to place my lips against hers. Before she noticed that I had leaned in too, I did the only thing I could to stop my passion from becoming her death and I fled. I was instantly standing in the shade across the meadow. I tried to leave off any expression that would be readable on my face. I didn't want her to see the monster that almost broke free. Which one? I asked myself. She looked around until she spotted me and then met my gaze. Her face displayed many emotions until she finally settled on shocked. I immediately felt like reaching into my chest to calm my still heart. I could tell that I had done something to upset her. â€Å"I'm†¦ sorry†¦ Edward,† she whispered. No mistakes, I ordered to myself. I just needed to tame the beast within. The craving for her body was overwhelming. â€Å"Give me a moment,† I implored. I took one ?C two – three deep breaths, hoping to dispel any lingering lust for her blood. I am dangerous, I know she saw that, but I didn't want her to know this side of me. I looked at her then, keeping her eyes fixed in mine and walked slowly back into the light, a place I knew I didn't belong. I stopped several feet from her now, trying to bridle my flaming desires. I sank to the ground then, never taking my eyes off Bella. I didn't want to miss a single expression. I inhaled the air around me, slowly welcoming back her fragrance. I took another breath, just to reassure myself that I could handle this. No mistakes, I reminded myself, though I already knew I had made too many. With our eyes still fixed, I tried to calm her with a smile, â€Å"I am so very sorry.† How do I make her understand how sorry I am? â€Å"Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?† I asked, hoping that she would comprehend what I was trying to explain to her. She nodded once, with just a light twitch of her lips. Was she afraid now? Had I made a mistake so devastating that she would never grace me with her presence again? I could hear how hard her heart was working, trying to get the blood to her body as quickly as possible. I realized then, that I had promised myself that I would show her what I truly am, so she could understand why we shouldn't be together. My smile turned devilish in the thought of what I was going to show her now. â€Å"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in ?C my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!† I bellowed. I ran around the meadow two times at my normal pace to add to my statement, â€Å"As if you could outrun me,† I laughed sharply. I watched her face, she didn't seem convinced that I was a monster yet so I grabbed the closest branch from the tree next to me and snapped it in half like I was breaking a twig. I held it in my hand effortlessly and then threw it so it hit another tree and it broke into several pieces. She looked frightened then, and I was immediately thrown into purgatory. I had to calm her somehow! I went to her in that instant, standing only two feet away, frozen so I wouldn't scare her. â€Å"As if you could fight me off,† I said, tenderly. Her eyes never left mine, and I watched them grow wide during my attempt to persuade her to see the deplorable creature that I am. She didn't run from me, even after she witnessed the things I could do – the things I could do to her, I added. I felt a lump rise in my throat. She wasn't running†¦ why wasn't she running? I could see the terror in her eyes, yet she stayed. I knew how she felt though; I knew I couldn't leave her either. If she were to stay with me, I couldn't bare to witness her terrified expression, â€Å"Don't be afraid,† I said gently, â€Å"I promise†¦Ã¢â‚¬  the words were all wrong, I paused, thinking. How could I promise something I was so unsure of? â€Å"I swear not to hurt you,† I refuted. No mistakes ?C I snapped at my new enemy, desire. I looked at her expression then, and I obviously hadn't convinced her. â€Å"Don't be afraid,† I begged in a whisper. I stepped closer, but I gave myself adequate space from her so that I wouldn't be tempted to grab her around the waist, pull her body close to mine, gently grab her chin and direct her mouth to mine†¦ stop there! While I was spinning my fantasies I realized I was now only a foot away from her face, not knowing how I had gotten there. Keep it together ?C I snapped at myself. Desire had surely taken over. â€Å"Please forgive me,† I begged, â€Å"I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now.† I tried to persuade myself more than anything. I was beginning to worry about her. Bella hadn't even whimpered or made a single noise since I decided to show her exactly what a vampire was capable of. Hadn't I reassured her that I wouldn't hurt her after my mistake? What else could I say? â€Å"I'm not thirsty today, honestly.† I winked trying to show her she could trust me. She suddenly, and unexpectedly, began laughing. Her silvery bell chime voice shaking slightly. Had she gone mad? Did I finally do something to make her mind snap? Horribly, terrifyingly, I was worried that I had damaged the one person who I loved above all else. â€Å"Are you all right?† I asked delicately. Maybe if I were to try and put us back together again. I placed my hand back in hers and the warmth made me inhale her heady scent while passion and desire started rearing their heads up in approval. She looked down at my hand then, like I had pulled her out of a deep thought. Her eyes slowly rose to meet mine. I was pleading for forgiveness with my eyes, hoping she could see that I was sorry. She looked back at my hand again, like she was checking that it was still there. Suddenly I was shivering in pleasure as her fingers began tracing lines up and down my arm again. She returned her gaze to my face again and smiled apprehensively. Was everything back to normal now? I returned her smile quickly so she would feel reassured. â€Å"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?† I asked, making sure she realized that I was still sorry for my mistake. â€Å"I honestly can't remember,† she said, and I was grateful for her response. I smiled but the remorse was still plain on my face. â€Å"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason.† I reminded her. â€Å"Oh, right,† she paused. â€Å"Well?† I pushed, impatiently. She looked away from me again, and stared fixedly on my hand that she was caressing. She didn't look back up or respond for several seconds. What are you thinking? I asked internally. I was becoming extremely frustrated. â€Å"How easily frustrated I am,† I sighed then. She returned her gaze to my face, still not responding. I wanted to take her into my arms then, but she saved me from making my mistake by finally responding, â€Å"I was afraid†¦ because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should.† Her eyes left mine then, returning to our hands. Was she finally admitting what I have been trying to convince her of the whole time? That being with me was dangerous†¦ â€Å"Yes,† I agreed, â€Å"That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest.† She frowned then. Was she upset now? What was I doing to this wonderful girl? Will I inevitable kill her? â€Å"I should have left long ago,† I sighed. I was now beginning to think aloud, â€Å"I should leave now. But I don't know if I can.† She pulled me out of my thoughts, â€Å"I don't want you to leave,† she whimpered, looking at our hands again. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? Why did she have to want me as absolutely as I wanted her? â€Å"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should,† I said. I crave more than just her company, I crave her body, her blood, her soft sweet lips†¦ â€Å"I'm glad.† â€Å"Don't be!† I snapped. I pulled my hand from her grip. I couldn't let her go if she was holding onto me. I showed her what kind of a monster I am and she becomes frightened ?C then I try to reassure her that I won't hurt her†¦ What is my problem? I moved my gaze from her face to the forest, knowing I couldn't let her go if I was staring at her, looking into those deep chocolate eyes. â€Å"It's not only your company I crave. Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else.† I realized I had become harsh, and again, I was nervous that I might have hurt her feelings. I heard her heart beating. It was a heavenly sound. She spoke then, â€Å"I don't think I understand exactly what you mean ?C by that last part anyway.† I turned to look at her then; I hadn't expected her to ask this question. I smiled, realizing I never truly explained what her blood does to me. â€Å"How do I explain?† I deliberated, â€Å"And without frightening you again†¦ hmmmm.† My hand was suddenly warm again, and I realized that it had found its way back into her hands. I reached out and placed it there without even giving it my permission. I was distracted immediately, â€Å"That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth.† I sighed. I began thinking of how I could explain what her blood does to me. What could I say that would make it not sound like I was fighting to not drink her blood every second I was around her? It's true, the monster has been clawing less, but that is because my desires to possess her in other ways had become forefront in my mind. Maybe a food analogy? â€Å"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?† I asked, â€Å"Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?† She nodded, and I decided that maybe food wasn't the best way to explain this, â€Å"Sorry about the food analogy ?C I couldn't think of another way to explain.† She smiled and I returned it. I mulled over how to explain this craving I have, â€Å"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now, let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac ?C and filled the room with its warm aroma ?C how do you think he would fare then?† I tried to explain. I stared fixedly at her then, waiting for her to understand. Alcohol was such a weak comparison. How her blood could ever compare to something so flagrant. At that moment, a light breeze enhanced what I was thinking. Her scent continued to leave a dry dull ache in my throat. She still hadn't answered. â€Å"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.† I decided. I had never drank alcohol or did any type of drug, those things do nothing for me, but I do know what these things could do to a human. My degrees in medicine helped me understand these types of addictions, but my addiction to Bella was still no comparison. â€Å"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?† she asked playfully. She always knew what to say to lift my spirits. I smiled at her, â€Å"Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.† â€Å"Does that happen often?† she asked me. It doesn't happen often, I have only seen it too clearly in Emmett's mind what happened when he crossed paths with someone who smelled as delicious as Bella does to me. I didn't know how to answer her question without making her fear me more, but maybe she needed another dose of fear, â€Å"I spoke to my brothers about it.† I told her. I looked away from her as I spoke, not wanting to see her reaction to what I was about to tell her, â€Å"To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor.† I inclined my head in her direction, hoping she would understand I was sorry that I would have to tell her the rest, â€Å"Sorry.† I murmured. â€Å"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can,† she commanded me. Silly Bella, I'm always worried about your well being, even your mental health, I thought. I gulped in some of the air around us. Her scent went rushing down my throat and filled my lungs with a burning hunger, emphasizing my explanation, â€Å"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as,† I hesitated, making sure I'd pick a word that wouldn't scare her, â€Å"appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other.† â€Å"And for you?† â€Å"Never,† I responded. We were both silent then. What was she thinking now? â€Å"What did Emmett do?† she asked. I wished she hadn't asked this question. I clenched my teeth as I remembered what happened just as clearly as Emmett had when he was telling me about his experiences. Of course, the humans didn't survive. Bella will live, I promised myself, because I knew I couldn't live without her now. â€Å"I guess I know,† she said, taking the burden off my shoulders. I looked at her then, wishing she would understand that I didn't want her fate to be like those other humans, that I loved her and would do everything in my power to protect her. I sighed internally; â€Å"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?† the thought was wistful. â€Å"What are you asking? My permission?† she hissed acidly, â€Å"I mean, is there no hope then?† she said softly. She spoke openly about her death, like she would have welcomed it if it came from me. How could she possibly think there was no hope? Hadn't I proven that I was stronger than I was when I first engulfed her fragrance? I was instantly repentant, â€Å"No, no! Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't†¦Ã¢â‚¬  take your life, I added mentally. I was gazing into her wide eyes. I wanted to explain to her that I was different then my brother. I just wanted her to understand that there was hope. â€Å"It's different for us. Emmet†¦ these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as†¦ practiced, as careful, as he is now.† I watched her expressions. She was in deep thought. She bit at her lower lip and instantly I wondered what her lower lip would taste like. She broke through my fantasy before it got out of control, â€Å"So if we'd met†¦ oh, in a dark alley or something†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she left the sentence hanging. I answered without thinking, â€Å"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and – † I realized I was about to tell her that I thought about snapping all of their necks and saving her for last so I could enjoy her warm blood alone. I decided to leave some details out, â€Å"When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself.† I paused, looking into the trees. A scowl ever present on my face by the choice of our topic. I glanced at her and I could see that she was remembering that first meeting, too. â€Å"You must have thought I was possessed,† I said grimly. â€Å"I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she trailed off. â€Å"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin†¦ I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow†¦Ã¢â‚¬  the memory bit at my cold heart. Bella's lips had parted then, a little gasp of horror etched into her skin. â€Å"You would have come,† I told her. And she would have. The way Bella flocks towards danger, it would have been very easy. I remembered how I had planned to take her as soon as I got her by myself and grimaced internally. â€Å"Without a doubt,† she replied I removed my eyes from her face then, and frowned down at our hands. I was remembering that first day, â€Å"And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there ?C in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there ?C so easily dealt with.† I felt her tremble and was immediately concerned that I had said too much. Her eyes were blank, like she was remembering something awful, and she trembled again. I was instantly angry with myself for ever making her feel that way. My behavior that first day was something I have tried to forget, but my mind is not like a human's, I retain every last detail of every moment. She didn't speak. â€Å"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home ?C I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong ?C and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving.† I explained to her. Of all the things I did that day after I had inhaled the most delicious blood ever, fleeing was the only one I was satisfied with. If I hadn't, surely she would be dead ?C my eyes crimson. I continued my story, â€Å"I traded cars with him ?C he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary†¦ By the next morning I was in Alaska,† chagrin was etched in my face. I know it was weak to run away, but what else could I have done? Bella sat there, frozen, enveloped in my story. I continued, â€Å"I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances†¦ but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl† ?C I smiled at the fact that I ever thought her insignificant because she was the most significant thing in my world, â€Å"to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I peered into the forest then, remembering how my family surrounded me my first day back at school, afraid I'd still kill her. Bella was speechless. Her fingers were still slowly moving up and down my arm. Telling her this story now, I suddenly felt free. I wanted to explain this to her since the first time I came back to school, to explain the reasons for loathing her so much that first day. I wanted Bella to be acquainted with everything about me. I continued, â€Å"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human, I was arrogant about it.† â€Å"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind†¦ her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating,† I frowned, trying once more to make my mind explore hers with no luck. â€Å"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions†¦ and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair and the scent would stun me again†¦ Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment ?C because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, ‘Not her.'† I closed my eyes then, remembering that fateful day; the van rushing towards her, me running to save her. I remembered how I was very afraid I had hurt her†¦ and I remember it was the first time I had held her in my arms, securely to my chest. I was craving to hold her to me again. Bella pulled me from my distraction, â€Å"In the hospital?† she asked. My eyes met hers then, â€Å"I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power ?C you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you.† I felt a jolt of pain at the thought, and I felt Bella shiver too, â€Å"But it had the opposite effect,† I told her quickly, trying to reassure her, â€Å"I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time†¦ the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice,† of course, Alice was thinking I would turn her. I frowned at the thought but continued, â€Å"Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay.† I tried to shake the uneasiness I was feeling, because the only way I would stay, was to stop seeing her, and I knew that there was nothing that would prevent me from seeing her, now. The pain I would endure if I were to leave her was inconceivable. â€Å"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair†¦ it hit me as hard as the very first day.† My eyes found hers then. My lungs took in the air around us, and the scent was the most delicious fragrant. I took in one more gulp of air and continued, hoping I hadn't scared her off, â€Å"And for all that, I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all that first moment, than if now, here ?C with no witnesses and nothing to stop me ?C I were to hurt you.† I was still irritated at the fact that she hadn't told a single soul that she was spending the day with me. â€Å"Why?† she asked. I didn't understand why she had to ask, didn't she know that it would cause me physical pain to hurt her now, that I loved her more than my own existence? â€Å"Isabella.† I said, letting her know that I was being nothing but serious by saying her full name. I stared into her eyes then, and my hand came up and I carefully ruffled her hair with my free hand. The current of electricity was now going in one hand and out the other, being released and zapping again with our touches, like we were meant to be joined together. â€Å"Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me.† I looked down, away from her gaze because I was abashed. I didn't want the words to exit my mouth, but she had to know, â€Å"The thought of you, still, white, cold†¦ to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses†¦it would be unendurable.† I returned my gaze to her eyes then, â€Å"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.† At the sound of my words, a craving burst through my chest and it wasn't for her blood, it was for her soul. I wanted to hold this precious soul close to me and never let go. To protect it from anything and everything that would harm it. I continued to stare fixedly upon her face, she had looked down, securing my hand in hers†¦ reaffirming that she felt the same way. She spoke then, â€Å"You already know how I feel, of course. I'm here†¦ which roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you.† Her lips turned down then, â€Å"I'm an idiot.† â€Å"You are an idiot,† I agreed, but I couldn't help but laugh. She met my gaze then and joined in with my laughter. My cold dead heart squeezed in that moment. I felt eager to pull our bodies together, to intertwine them. After everything I confessed today, she still wanted to be with me, she was continually saying yes to me. At that moment, I wanted to confess my feelings for her. I wanted to bring her close to my body and whisper what she meant to me. I finally spoke, â€Å"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb†¦,† I whispered. She looked away then and her cheeks began to flush. â€Å"What a stupid lamb,† she sighed. â€Å"What a sick masochistic lion.† I murmured. I had wondered if she were masochistic before, about not telling anyone we were together today and realized it was me who gained gratification from pain, not her. Every breath, every touch†¦ it was exceedingly painful and fantastic. Every moment of pain I was feeling was pleasurable because I was able to be with her. I continued to seek her out and deny myself a touch. I was the only one who was masochistic here. â€Å"Why†¦?† Bella asked, not finishing her question. She had paused, like she wasn't sure how to finish. Ah, what was she thinking now? I smiled at her expression, â€Å"Yes?† â€Å"Tell me why you ran from me before.† She pleaded. My lips began to turn down then, â€Å"You know why.† â€Å"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This for example† she caressed my hand then and the warmth sent electricity up my spine and down to my toes, â€Å"seems to be all right.† My smile returned. She wanted to make things easier for me because she wanted to be with me. Even after we leave this meadow, she was planning on staying with me. Would I ever get use to this wonderful creature? She needed to understand though, that there wasn't anything she did to make me want to take her life, it was strictly on how delicious she smelled. â€Å"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.† â€Å"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you.† She explained. â€Å"Well†¦Ã¢â‚¬  honestly, everything she did made it difficult for me. Her scent ?C her attachment to me – her unreadable thoughts – how she was constantly needing me to save her, it all made it difficult. â€Å"It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness†¦I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat.† I was immediately aware that I almost exposed how much I craved everything about her. I looked at her then, making sure I hadn't scared her with what little I told her. â€Å"Okay then,† she replied breezily. She tucked her neck in then, â€Å"No throat exposure.† She said seriously. My laugh was instantaneous. She didn't understand what I was trying to say, â€Å"No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.† I raised my hand then, trying to prove a point, and placed my hand gently on her soft, warm, neck. In that moment, I pictured doing several things; bringing her closer to me and caressing her striking face, running my hand up through her hair so I could lightly pull her to my lips, bringing my nose to her neck and smell her from her neck to her ear†¦ but I resisted. â€Å"You see, perfectly fine.† I said. I felt her blood pulsing under my palm and her breath coming faster and blowing sweetly into my face. The scent, the sound, it was so appealing. Eagerness ran through me and I was instantly excited. She began to blush a light red color that set her eyes and lips glowing richly with desire. â€Å"The blush on your cheeks is lovely,† I whispered. That insatiable creature, desire, refused to be caged at this point and took over my body. I released my hand from her grasp lightly and watched her hands fall limply into her lap. I reached up; slowly, deliberately gentle to place my hand on her cheek. I held her warm, precious face, in between my hands. I filled my lungs with her luscious scent, and it only sent electricity through my body now, being released slowly into her sweet cheeks from my palms. My passion for her was making me greedy. â€Å"Be very still,† I whispered. I looked deep into her eyes and leaned in to kiss her, to bring my lips to hers and lick her warm skin, but abruptly I changed my mind, not wanting to tempt myself anymore then I already was. I placed my cheek against her neck. It fit there, like it belonged. I didn't know what I was doing, but ecstasy was quickly filling my veins. I continued to breathe in her aroma, and decided I needed a better whiff of what was driving me to crave more and more. I let my hands slide from her neck, just in case I was to make a mistake during my inability to re-cage my desires and snap it. I slowly brought my face closer to her collarbone and my nose lightly brushed her skin. She trembled then. The thought of what I was doing to her sent spasms of pleasurable electricity through my body and I inhaled one quick breath and held it for only a second longer than normal before releasing the air. The fragrance left a dull ache in my throat, but it was second to my new desires now. I continued to move my head and finally rested against her chest, making sure that each touch was calculated so I wouldn't damage her. Her heart was still racing under the tender membrane of her skin. â€Å"Ah,† I sighed. I continued to listen to her heart. Sometimes it skipped a beat, and a few times it stopped all together. After an immeasurable moment her pulse slowed, and I realized in that moment that it was the most significant sound in my life. She never moved, but all too soon I was releasing her. I had brought her to me and didn't hurt her. â€Å"It won't be so hard again,† I said with resolution. â€Å"Was that very hard for you?† she asked. â€Å"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?† I asked, still curious if I were what she really wanted, if what I did was something she wanted. â€Å"No, it wasn't bad†¦for me.† She said timidly. I grinned. Of course it wasn't hard for her†¦and I know it wasn't bad, either. â€Å"You know what I mean.† She said ruefully, and then smiled. My face was warm from being against her for so long, â€Å"Here,† I said, placing her hand against my cheek, â€Å"Do you feel how warm it is?† Electricity flowed through our touch. Suddenly, she whispered, â€Å"Don't move.† I froze. I closed my eyes then, and settled into being a statue. I could smell the air being stirred close to my face and suddenly she was touching my cheek, her warm hand rubbing up and down my face, like she had been doing with my arm. I wanted to pull her into my chest, and I wanted to push her away. I didn't want to do something I would regret and she was making it amazingly hard to say no to her now. Her finger tips moved from my chin to my eyelids. Her fingers traced around my eyes, down my nose and then she reached my lips. Pleasure washed over me. The bliss of her touch had me begging for more. I parted my lips then, sucking in the air of the warm aroma that was her hand. She dropped her hand then, this time I was instantly upset, wanting her to continue. I opened my eyes and she looked into them. Her pulse picked up again. â€Å"I wish†¦I wish you could feel the†¦ complexity†¦the confusion†¦I feel. That you could understand,† I whispered. I reached up to gently move a strand of her hair away from her face. I remembered when Mike had done this, she seemed repulsed. Now, she was just as eager as I was. â€Å"Tell me,† she barely made a noise, it was mostly a wisp of a breath. â€Å"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger ?C the thirst ?C that deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though,† I grinned half heartily, â€Å"as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I brought my fingers to her lips and watched her shiver under my touch, a shiver of pleasure, emphasizing my next words, â€Å"There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me.† She responded quickly, â€Å"I may understand that better than you think.† Did she understand? There was no way she could understand my feelings, but maybe she did, maybe it is because it is so new to me that I think she wasn't feeling them too. Maybe this was something that was more human than vampire. â€Å"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?† â€Å"For me?† she asked, but answered before I could tell her to continue, â€Å"No, never. Never before this.† I held her hands securely in mine, making sure that I was gentle; constantly afraid I would use too much force and break her. â€Å"I don't know how to be close to you.† I confessed, â€Å"I don't know if I can.† She took charge then, slowly moving her face closer to mine. She kept her eyes on mine until she couldn't see me anymore. She had placed her head against my chest now. I continued to breathe slowly. â€Å"This is enough,† she sighed. Before I understood my own actions, desire reared up and took control. I wrapped my arms around her, enveloping her, making sure my grip was not too strong, but was secure enough to show her that she could count on me to protect her. I brought my face to her hair and took in a large breath or her heady scent. Thirst broke free then, but the two creatures, hunger and desire fought, and desire won. â€Å"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for,† she noted. â€Å"I have human instincts ?C they may be buried deep, but they're there.† I explained to her. My desire was refusing to let her go, and she didn't struggle against my tender grasp. After several long, but not long enough, moments, she sighed. I looked to the forest and realized the sun slanted at a different angle. â€Å"You have to go,† I told her. â€Å"I thought you couldn't read my mind,† she mocked. â€Å"It's getting clearer,† I responded playfully, my lips turning up. I released her, only to grasp her shoulders, â€Å"Can I show you something?† I asked. I wanted her to understand me more, and one way to do that was to show her exactly how I travel. â€Å"I'll show you how I travel in the forest.† She looked apprehensive, â€Å"Don't worry, you'll be safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster.† I grinned widely and I heard her heart skip a beat. She looked at me then, a smile in her voice, â€Å"Will you turn into a bat?† she asked. I laughed so loud that I was sure it could have been heard for some distance. â€Å"Like I haven't heard that one before!† I scoffed. â€Å"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time,† she replied, still playful. â€Å"Come on, little coward, climb on my back.† I suppressed a laugh. Her eyes became wide and she hesitated. I became impatient and grabbed for her, making sure I was gentle. Her heart beat speed up and I could smell her pulse hammering. I placed her on my back and she engulfed me. He body wrapped around me and I could feel the heat emitting from her. She embraced me fiercely. â€Å"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack,† she cautioned. She was light as a feather to me, almost like she wasn't there, but she was, because I could feel her warmth and her beating pulse. â€Å"Hah!† I rolled my eyes then. This day had turned out better than I have ever believed imaginable. I hadn't hurt her, or killed her, instead her scent was becoming less sensitive and I had been able to let my desires take control and I held her in my arms, I caressed her face and brought my mouth so close to the base of her neck without biting. I grabbed her hand that was wrapped tightly around my neck and pressed her palm into my nose, inhaling as deeply as possible. The ache burned in my throat. I was still thirsting for her blood, but desire bounded up and out my mouth, â€Å"Easier all the time.† I took off through the forest.

Scale for measuring consumer financial guilt - Free Essay Example

Sample details Pages: 13 Words: 3947 Downloads: 7 Date added: 2017/06/26 Category Finance Essay Type Analytical essay Did you like this example? Guilt is an emotion which a person experiences when he believes to have violated a certain code of conduct. This often leads to regret in the later stages when the person owns up or takes responsibility for the same. This feeling of guilt according to psychologists is difficult to get rid of. Don’t waste time! Our writers will create an original "Scale for measuring consumer financial guilt" essay for you Create order It might in some cases lead to extreme measures. This could arise in two ways- one when a person doesnt act in a desired way and another where a person acts in an undesired way. It is driven by ones inner conscience. Other feelings that are associated with guilt are remorse, curiosity, shame, fear. According to Sigmund Freud, ego and super ego parental imprints interact to give rise to guilt. The lack of guilt leads to blame others, often used as a symptom to alienate psychopaths. Lack of it is treated as an abnormal state, which goes on to establish the relevance of guilt. When a person is unable to relate emotionally to others, he falls out of the moral framework according to psychologists. The emotions are a vital part of cognitive processes. Tapping emotions can give an insight into how decisions are made thus we can create patterns out of decisions and group individuals accordingly. Consumer guilt is a variety of guilt and can be defined thus negative feeling resultin g from a consumer buying decision that is transgressing against ones ideals. The transgression can be purchasing a product, service, idea, or experience (i.e., a brand that does not abide by quality standards), or not purchasing a product Consumer guilt is a specialized field widely studied today. In recessionary times it becomes more important to understand consumer decision making process. Understanding consumer psyche would help companies design communications and target the required TG in a desired manner. Psychologists have recorded beneficial reactions as after effects to guilt. For example, when a customer gets more attention from the salesman, he tends to create a liking and loyalty to the shop as not tending to repurchase from the shop would invoke guilt. This is the concept behind Customer Relationship Management offering lower prices; buying back unsatisfactory products are a few examples. Guilt in Marketing Marketing has concentrated on decision making process by consumers governed by consumer rationale. Coca Colas Open Happiness campaign is an excellent example. Companies target audience based on intangibles which studies have shown to have greater impact than utilities and features of the product put together. Emotions like love, fear, worry have been exploited by marketers. One of the emotions that has not been explored completely is GUILT. This emotion is a fad today Be it the clinic plus, shampoo campaign where the kid taunts the mother for not being a housewife and being unable to maintain her hair properly. Studies reveal that Barbie dolls are sold in huge numbers when bundled along with expensive formal shirts. Fathers overcome the guilt of spending huge sum on oneself by buying their daughters Barbie dolls. A study by Dana-Nicoleta Lascu, University of South Carolina categorises guilt into four types Health guilt a form of guilt arising from the fact that a consum er is unable to take care of his health. This is aroused when one is prone to unhealthy eating practices or is not able to devote time to prune his health. Healthy drinks and healthy sugar substitutes seem to use this in abundance in their communication campaigns Social Responsibility guilt Social ad campaigns like the ones against drunken driving, anti- smoking campaign take this aspect into design. However, this type of guilt is more to evoke guilt and help you perform your duties towards the society in general and under privileged in particular. Moral guilt Though this is a variant of Social responsibility guilt, it is different in a way that the focus of guilt is a smaller circle. It is usually ones close family. The ads brought out by the insurance companies evoke consumer guilt that he is morally responsible for his kids education and wifes survival. Financial Guilt Financial guilt is characterized by feelings of guilt that result from making purchases that are not easily justified. Unneeded or extravagant expenditures are examples of purchases which could stimulate financial guilt. Impulse shopping or a lack of bargain shopping may also generate financial guilt feelings.   The focus of this study is to quantify the guilt perception of a consumer. So, we aimed at creating a scale to measure financial guilt. If a consumer feels remorse/regret after a purchase it is essential to reinforce the value and quality of the product to ensure repurchase. Thus, measuring guilt would help us generalize what triggers guilt and when guilt will be experienced. This information can be used to design suitable marketing communication campaigns and increase customer lifetime value. Literature Survey Mukhopadhyay, A. (2004). Columbia U. Unintended purchase opportunities: Conflict, choice, and consequence. Dissertation Abstracts International Sec A: Humanities and Social Sciences, Vol 65(6-A). Consumers spend substantially on products they had not planned to buy. Marketers exploit this fact trying to increase purchase incidence. This dissertation studies how decisions to either buy or not buy an unintended item affects responses to later tempting offers. An unintended purchase simultaneously depends on both the goal served by acquiring the product, and the goal of not spending money unnecessarily. These goals may be in conflict, which then leads to a choice about the purchase. This choice has consequences, cognitive and affective. Complex affective outcomes like happiness, pride, guilt, remorse, and anger result from these choices. These emotions influence responses to subsequent offers such that affect-consistent advertising appeals bring more favorable results. Lin, Y.T. , Jen, F., Catholic U., Xia, K.N., Yuan Ze U.(2009). The Relationship between consumer guilt and product categories. Working paper, Conference of Association of Consumer Research. This study focuses on the construct of consumer guilt. It tries to understand what kind of product the consumer buys in order to satisfy their self-concept. Then the relationship between self-concept and consumer guilt are tested. The findings are that consumers are more likely to feel guilty when they spend on indulgences than when they spend on necessities. If the ideal-self is different from actual-self, consumers feel guilty when they buy something to satisfy their ideal-self. Bennett, R. (1998). Shame, Guilt and Responses to Non-Profit and Public Sector Ads. International Journal of Advertising (UK), VOL 17 No 4 This article is about the difference between guilt and shame in psychological terms, being relevant for advertising research. Evoking guilt produces, according to this paper, a positi ve response, whereas shame more likely leads to an avoidance reaction. A set of hypotheses relating to shame, guilt and responses to advertisements are tested on 141 university students in the UK as a sample. It was found that high-guilt advertisements evoke more favourable responses than shame-intense adverts and that whereas there was no psychological resistance to guilt-intensive communication, the sample reacted negatively to shame-messages. Burnett, M.S., Lunsford, D.A..(1994). Conceptualising Guilt in Consumer Decision Making Process. Journal of Consumer Marketing, Vol 11, Issue 3 Consumers purchase based on many emotions. Guilt is one such emotion and is currently a topic of research for marketers trying to influence this process. Focus groups, composed of a varied sample population demographic, were used to construct guilt. Four types of consumer guilt: financial, health, moral, responsibility, were identified. Consumer guilt is further classified as anticipatory and r eactive, occurring in decisions to both purchase as well as not. Bagozzi, R.P., Gopinath M., Nyer, P.U. (1999). The Role of Emotions in Marketing, Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science (USA), VOL 27 No 2 Emotions are different from moods and attitudes. This paper approaches the measurement of emotions by examining effect of emotions upon behaviour. Emotions also affect the cognitive processes, goal-directed behavior and volition. Twelve areas are identified for research about effect of emotions in marketing. Taylor, R.K. Marketing Strategies: Gaining a Competitive Advantage Through the Use of Emotion, Competitiveness Review, Journal of Global Competitiveness This article reviews theories of emotion and tries to aid in developing various advertising strategies. There are ways in which managers can link these strategies with the different emotional states of customers. Also, customer defense mechanisms are also considered and strategies to break them are listed. G angemi, A., Mancini, F.(2007). Guilt and Focusing in Decision Making, Journal of Behavioural Decision Making (UK), VOL 20 No 1 Based on research that found relationships between emotional state, cognition and decision-making, this paper measures the effect of fear and anger in influencing positive and negative judgments. It proposes that feelings of guilt will lead to negative hypotheses. Three experiments are conducted wherein three groups of students are required to recall anger, fear or neutral emotional events, and then decide what to do with an unexpected monetary gift. In conclusion, decision strategies are affected by the persons emotional state. Individuals in the guilt group were more focused on future guilt, and hence on relatively undesirable decision options. Coulter, Pinto, Mary Beth. (1995).Guilt Appeals in Advertising: What are Their Effects? Journal of Applied Psychology, Vol 80(6). pp. 697-705. This study measures consumer responses based on emotion, attitu de, attributions of brands and purchase intention by changing the level of guilt induced. Sixty working mothers were taken as a sample set and proved that moderate guilt induced more felt guilt than extreme levels. An inverse relationship was established between level of guilt and attitudes toward attributions of brands. Lascu, D.N., University of South Carolina. (1991). Consumer Guilt: Examining the Potential of a New Marketing Construct, Advances in Consumer Research, Volume 18. Even though consumer guilt is often exploited to achieve competitive advantage by marketers, enough research has not been done to document its effect in academic terms. Guilt can be used to persuade. This paper focuses on establishing guilt in consumers and its constructs. It develops an inventory for future usage by researchers trying to study guilt and its effect on advertisement response, sales and repurchase. Scale development The aim of the paper as discussed above was to develop a scale to measure guilt. We went ahead with the conventional steps of scale development. The first step was to identify dimensions. After studying in depth the above literature, we concluded that consumer financial guilt includes the following dimensions: Personality traits Personality traits include self esteem and locus of control. They are defined as follows: Self-Esteem: High self-esteem individuals think highly of themselves, are more likely to spend more on products and services that make them feel good. However, research indicates that people who rate high in self-esteem use avoidance defense mechanisms which lead them to reject threatening communications such as guilt appeals and to be more receptive to optimistic messages. Low self-esteem individuals, on the other hand, tend to use defenses which lead them to accept threatening appeals. So guilt appeals work better on them. Locus of Control: Individuals w ith an external locus of control, believing that external forces control ones destiny, are more likely to adhere to the recommendations contained in the advertisement prescribing modalities of reducing guilt than individuals with an internal locus of control. A person with an internal locus of control does not rely on inputs from any external sources to form opinions about brand attributes. Focus of guilt: Focus of Guilt is described in terms of who is affected by the actions of the decision maker. An individualÃÆ' ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚ ²s purchase decision may have adverse effects either on that individual or on others. It identifies whom the guilt is directed toward, because the focus of the guilt may affect the salience of the emotion. Some individuals may hold little concern for the consequences of their actions on others while some individuals may care deeply how their actions affect others. This focus determines their purchase decisions Utility of product: The utili ty of a product is a factor the consumer is always apprehensive about. The consumer should perceive that the value of the product is higher than the price he has paid for it i.e., the marginal utility is positive. The more the value of the product in the consumers perception, the lesser is the guilt he suffers from a better opportunity lost. The worse the product performs, the more the guilt that the consumer could have used the money resource for something more useful. Guilt Interacting with Other Negative Emotional Appeals (Shame, Fear) Emotions interact with each other. One emotion may activate, amplify, or attenuate another. As seen from the research paper, inducing shame/fear will not tilt consumers in your favor while evoking guilt might prove beneficial. After identifying dimensions, exploratory research was done and questions decided upon. We arrived at a set of 44 questions, which is mentioned under Appendix 1. Face validity The next step was testing face validity. This helps in viewing the questions from respondents point of view. This was done to eliminate misleading and confusing questions. For the Guilt measurement survey, we designed 44 items under four dimensions. The survey was shown to 20 first year MBA students who found out the items that were confusing and double barreled. They removed 2 such items. Content Validity Next, content validity was tested by checking whether the items included in the scale measure the construct of interest. Content Validity was performed by administering the survey to experts that included 7 professors of the Industrial psychology, Organizational behavior, and Marketing and Research methods. It was also administered to 18 Research students and senior students of marketing domain. The specialization of these students in marketing and organizational behavior was crucial because our scale was designed for the marketers and these students had a good idea about which question is relevant for marketers. Moreover, guilt as an emotion is easily understood by the students of Organizational Behavior as they deal with emotions of the employees. The relevance of the dimensions to the scale was analysed by them. They were given the dimensions and related definitions in Step 1 and asked to mark questions as relevant, relevant but not essential and irrelevant. They removed 15 item s that did not tap the dimensions. The questions were eliminated if 50% of the people found the question irrelevant. The method used to decide on this was Lawshes method of determining Content Validity. A content validity ratio is calculated which is given as below for each question: CVR= (n-N/2) / N/2 n- Number of experts who considered question relevant; N- Total number of experts consulted. A positive value for CVR implies that more than 50% of experts agreed to relevance of the question. The final number of questions that were considered for the survey was 27. Phase 1: Data collection The survey was administered to 140 candidates in the first phase through online survey tools. The respondents covered were from wide cross-section of age groups, locations and professions. A 5-point Likert scale was used to measure the responses more accurately. The responses of the Likert scale that were collected online were transferred to spreadsheets and the results were converted to numbers from 1 to 5 with appropriate adjustments to the reversal items (items that probed the absence of guilt). Item-Total correlation The item-total correlations of the individual items were found using correlate function of SPSS software. The 6 items that had item-total correlations less than 0.5 were dropped from the scale. The remaining 21 items had item-total correlations ranging from 0.5 to 0.72. Of these 21 items, 5 represented the category of locus of control, 5 represented focus of guilt, 6 represented utility of the product, and 5 represented Shame and Fear. Item-Item correlation The item-item correlations of the 21 items were found using bivariate correlation function of SPSS software. All the 21 items had item-item correlations of greater than 0.3 with 50% of the items. Hence all the items were taken into consideration. Exploratory Factor Analysis (EFA) After studying the above literature review in-depth, we conducted an analysis of what constructs are included in the construct of consumer guilt. (Ref: Burnett, M.S., Lunsford, D.A..(1994). Conceptualising Guilt in Consumer Decision Making Process. Journal of Consumer Marketing, Vol 11, Issue 3). Following which, we conducted an exploratory factor analysis to determine the validity of the listed constructs for consumer guilt. Exploratory Factor Analysis was performed on the 21 items. The rotated component matrix of the items was obtained using SPSS which was analysed. It is as follows: Rotated Component Matrix Component 1 2 3 VAR00001 0.192226 0.195225 0.713085 VAR00004 0.788679 0.318717 0.137229 VAR00005 0.285346 0.244619 0.6489 VAR00006 0.795421 0.146635 0.314012 VAR00007 0.369396 0.741676 0.125354 VAR00009 0.373954 0.734327 0.084158 VAR00010 0.450758 0.178785 0.504564 VAR00011 0.108146 0.599961 0.340067 VAR00012 0.256011 0.455263 0.49496 VAR00013 0.404614 0.111261 0.602676 VAR00014 0.222377 0.820487 0.151313 VAR00015 0.078377 0.41711 0.631738 VAR00016 0.46313 0.389034 0.418036 VAR00017 0.686262 0.282411 0.271358 VAR00019 0.110651 0.650488 0.340389 VAR00021 0.573905 0.312914 0.367908 VAR00022 0.374771 0.271764 0.51113 VAR00023 0.475229 0.223969 0.561002 VAR00025 0.203401 0.626945 0.316887 VAR00026 0.468221 0.159089 0.552527 VAR00027 0.571195 0.253548 0.372853 Of these, 5 items that were cross-loaded on two factors were removed from consideration. The remaining 16 items were divided into three factors. The factors had 6, 6 and 4 items respectively. The items thus obtained were meaningful and useful. The correlations obtained in the test were used to refine the questionnaire and arrive at the final three constructs as given below: Factor 1 you are not affected by the ads promos, friends buying behavior, friends perceptions or brand value but you buy for the utility of the product Factor 2 youll spend for others than on yourself and youll buy the product with best utility / customer service no matter how attractive the product is Factor 3 youll buy products on others recommendation and you are proud of the expensive products you own and you compensate family members with expensive products for the time not spent with them The factors thus could be broadly categorized thus: Factor1 Locu s of control Factor 2- Focus of Guilt Factor 3- Impulse behavior Reliability The reliability was tested using Cronbachs alpha test. The Cronbachs alpha component was found to be 0.93 using SPSS which indicates that the research conducted is reliable. This high alpha level confirms the consistency of the responses from the subjects. Phase II Confirmatory Factor Analysis (CFA) Exploratory factor analysis (EFA) resulted in three factors and a set of 16 variables that influence the particular factor. In order to determine whether each of the factors can be fitted into the data set, we performed Confirmatory factor analysis (CFA). For this, we invited responses for this set of 16 survey questions and an additional question for nomological validity. The nomological validity question was -You recently made an expensive purchase. After the purchase you saw an ad of the product. The ad claims the user to be special as he deserves the product. How important is this to you. In order to ensure that we do not get biased responses, the set of respondents in this Phase was different from that of Phase 1. We received 122 responses for this Phase. CFA was performed using AMOS. Regression weights were obtained for each of the common factors and its indicators. The AMOS text output is tabulated below: We can see that the regression weights for all the variables are greater than 0.7. Also, the factor loading of the factors with the nomological validity variable is greater than 0.4. However there were 5 questions whose Regression estimates were greater than 1. These values represent the excessive loading, thus they are treated outliers. After eliminating those variables, we are left with 11 questions that correctly represent a correct fit with the given data set. The final variables and the factors are tabulated below: Factor1 Variable 4 No amount of advertisement, promotions, peer influence can affect your buying of a particular brand Variable 16 You like to boast about the expensive products that you own Variable 21 Once you buy a product, you use it only till the brand is popular Variable 27 You will spend on expensive deodorant/body spray to avoid embarrassment when interacting with others Factor2 Variable 7 You will only buy what you need no matter how attractive a new product is Variable 9 You go out specially to buy a gift for someone else and not for yourself Variable 11 You would gift your free gift coupon to someone close without regret Variable 19 You would not mind paying a product more money than its utility for brand value Variable 25 You would tend to buy a product though it is priced higher if customer service was good Factor3 Variable 5 You go without the intention to buy but end up buying most of the products based on your others recommendation Variable 15 You enjoy others attention due to your possession of expensive products Convergent and Divergent Validity Since all loading factors that relate the variables to the dimensions are greater than 0.7 in the questions retained convergent validity is automatically established. The AVE scores for each of the factors were calculated. The values are as follows: Divergent Validity AVE Factor1 0.84 Factor2 0.82 Factor3 0.94 Thus, each factor adequately represents at least 84%, 82% and 94% of its corresponding variables. This is a test of discriminate validity and it further strengthens the reliability of our scale. Results Summary The various tests are summarized below: No of items Type of analysis Result of Analysis Items generated 44 Judgment and editing Generation of items Face validity 38 Validity by colleagues Elimination of redundant items Content Validity 27 Expert review Refining of items Validity test 21 Item to Total correlation and Item to item correlation 21 values correlated with item total correlation coefficient 0.4 and item to item correlation coefficient greater than 0.3 Reliability test 21 Cronbach analysis Cronbach alpha coefficient = 0.93 Exploratory factor analysis 16 Factor analysis 21 items are categorized under 3 factors Confirmatory factor analysis 11 CFA using AMOS Confirms that each of the items in a factor can be fitted in the data set Convergent Validity 11 Check if regression weights are greater than 0.7 Confirms the convergence of the data set Divergent Validity 11 Check the AVE score of each factors Confirms the divergence of the data set Discussion Although many research papers are available on the subject of guilt there has not been any attempt to quantify guilt as an emotion as it is complex and subjective. There are no empirical scales to measure guilt. Most of the researches conducted so far are theoretical and conceptual. This research was an attempt at developing a scale to measure consumer guilt. The scale can be used to test the various propositions that relate guilt to marketing. The results obtained in validity tests show that the scale is a reliable one. The first phase showed that scale is very consistent and stable. The high Cronbachs alpha coefficient proves that this scale is highly reliable. Phase 2 showed that content validity holds good. Further improvements The scale can be further expanded to cover more dimensions. The four dimensions that we have identified will not be sufficient to measure guilt as it is a complex emotion which involves a mixture of emotions in each one. Hence the other underlying emotions that cause consumer guilt have to be found out and added as dimensions. The sub constructs like utility of a product could be further sub classified and those also need to be identified and incorporated as dimensions. The items have to be administered to more people of different income and location to nullify the impact on the scale due to the behavior of people from particular region or income. Guilt, like other emotions is momentary high at some point and low at some other point in life. The time when the survey is conducted will unduly influence the respondents and hence the tests have to be administered at different times to check the reliability of the scale. Social desirability bias can be nullified by administering the s cale along with social desirability scales. Similarly acquiescence bias should also be nullified before finalizing the scale. Implications The absence of an empirical scale to measure guilt has been a major constraint so far in relating it with marketing. This scale will help marketers in finding the relationship between guilt and marketing. This scale will help throw light on the way emotions influence consumers buying behaviour. So, once relation has been established, marketers could look at tapping those emotions effectively to invoke purchase and repurchase. This would increase customer life time value.